Between You and Me
by Yueh-san
Summary: Life as the cat isn't always that easy. When you're all alone and hated, who can you turn to? YukixKyo Shounen ai. Possible lemon. R&R please
1. Prologue

**A/N:** Hello, fellow YukixKyo fans (or soon to be YukixKyo fans :P ). This is a story dedicated to...a friend. And of course to my beta-er and friend Amaya-hime who recently had a birthday! claps hands (/cough/ READ HER STORIES/cough/) anyways ON WITH IT!

**Warnings:** Shounen-ai/slash/boyxboy/ homosexual relationships. And possible violence, language, angstyness and more violence. And also, this will be short, it's not a chapter so...

**Prologue**

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"You have until the end of high school. Don't you see, Kyo? You lost."

His voice is piercing, and I can hear the threats laced on his tongue. My eyes are trained on the floorboards. If I look at him I'll be swallowed up. It's taking most of my self-control not to shake in fear. I won't let my nervousness show. I curl and uncurl my fists, my jaw clenched.

I see his feet move from the window to where I'm sitting, the bird that had been perching carelessly on his finger fluttered away. His kimono is dragging on the ground, making a sort of forbidding, shuffling noise. I can just imagine the look on his face. His special look, the one he usually saves for Yuki only.

The sound stops as his bare feet come to a rest, right in my line of vision, and I can feel his head looming over mine. My body stiffens,I don't like him being so close. It's better when he'satleast across the room, if not much much farther away.His hot breath tickles my ears as he starts to speak again.

"But, you just didn't get it, Kyo. I always win.-Why won't you look at me? Kyo? I said _look_ at me"

Before I have time to comprehend his words, my chin is seized by his cold, unforgiving fingers. He pulls my head up until his pale, crazed face fills my whole vision. I cannot pull away from his eyes. I try my best not to feel panicked, but I can feel my breathing starting to get faster, my eyes going wider.

I can't fight back. No one in the whole zodiac has ever even thought of that, and I am most definitely not going to be the one to test it out. I imaginethat someone who was properly a part of the zodiac wouldn't get beaten nearly as severly asI would be.I haven't been listening to what he's been saying, but his fingers have been removed from my chin and his face is distorted by anger. Fuck, this can't be good...

_Slap!_ My head is snaps around; blood oozing from where his nails scratched me. My face is throbbing. I can hear him screaming now, but it seems far away. I screw my eyes shut, and try to block out everything, convincing myself that it doesn't hurt.

I feel him stand up and I immediately feel the impact of his foot against my ribs. I roll over, curling defensively into the fetal position, blood trickling from a corner of my mouth. I can't breath, my lungs are gasping for air but none fills them. My eyes grow wider with each helpless gasp. My mind goes frantic from the sudden loss of oxygen. My body unable to function as contradicting thoughts race through my brain.

I can feel him staring down at me. Then he is squatting in front of me, a smirk on his face, head tilted to one side, looking pleased with himself. He jerks my head up, pulling me by my hair, making me hiss in pain. My eyes flutter open and again I am forced to look him straight in the face, and again I'm flooded with fear. Shit, I'm turning into one of those losers who faints during scary movies.

My finger nails are digging into my palms, keeping my mind focused on the clean pain. I even my breaths, counting the seconds in between. I will not lose control, it's practically the only thing I have left. I won't get scared,I won't show my fear.I brace myself for his words.

"You thought that maybe you could win against me? Your God? The cat can _never_ win against the rat. It's impossible. Everyone _hates_ you. That is your role, your life's purpose.

You are going to be locked up for everyone to look down on. No one is going to feel any pity for you. You will be hated until the day you _die_."

He releases me, and I start to cough, hacking up blood. My hands reach for my throat, as if they could coax oxygen into my lungs. A look of disgust flashes upon his face, but is gone in no more than a few seconds.

My thoughts start spinning. I'm going to be locked up. There's nothing I can do about it. I won't see anyone or anything. Ever. I can feel fear spreading through me. My eyes are itching, and my throat is making raspy sounds. I think I have started to shake, but now I cannot tell the difference between shaking and being still.

I should have known by the strange looks Hatori gave me as I sullenly slid into his car just over an hour ago. The slightly confused, but strangely concerned look on Yuki's face. Shigure's serious face. I was so stupid, I should've known that meant something bad, if not horrifying. I knew that being 'invited' here was never a good thing...but...but...

I see him stand up, his arms crossed, looking severely angry. He kicks me again, this time his foot hits my head, full on. Blood is now flowing more freely from my nose and mouth. My head is throbbing. I try to concentrate on moving, but my body's not obeying my mind. Shit, shit, shit...not good, not good.

I manage to get on all fours, looking like the cat I'm supposed to be.The kind of stray that shouldn't be here, and knows it. The kind that disappears in the middle of the night and nobody notices.

The kind everyone hates.

There's a methodic plip plip as blood stains my hands, dripping from my open mouth. My vision goes blurry, and all of a sudden everything is tinted red. I'm struggling not to pass out; that would be too much. I'd be at his complete mercy then...and who knows what the sick fuck would do when that happens.

I stayed conscious long enough to see him brush off his kimono, pulling up the part that had slipped of his thin shoulders, and hear him giggling slightly as he picks up his haori and walks out of the room, shoji slamming shut behind him. A feeling of anger and helplessness washed over me, my arms caved under me and I fall to the floor, my mind turning blank.

"_Everyone _hates_ you."_

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**A/N: **Just so you know, I will continue onthis storyeven if people hate it. So pfft...lol. Please review, it takes little effort and the button is below this! I will give you cookie /hands out cookies to all the good little boys and girls/


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hello (again) and a great big thank you to all the lovely people who reviewed! **/hands out cookies to LadyAlina, gimcrak, amekan, nancypants and flilipina-rose and of course Amaya-hime/**. Thank you so much! And I'm sorry about the minor grammar issues I had (I wanted to get it out right then, and didn't have time to re-send it to Amaya-hime...and I am too lazy to re-upload it. I hope you can forgive me!) Now, story!

**Warnings:** Shounen-ai, swearing, violence blah blah blah, nothing you T for teen readers can't stomach

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**Chapter One

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**

I didn't come-to until about an hour later, lying in the backseat of Hatori's car, with an ice pack on my head. I had been cleaned up and bandaged, my blood stained clothes were replaced with Haru's.

Good. I didn't want to scare Tohru, coming in the house like some creepy zombie.

I push myself up into a sitting position, wincing slightly at the pain near my ribs. It doesn't hurt too much, but I suppose nothing hurts much after you are ritually beaten by your worst enemy. The imprints from my fingernails are still in my palms.

I rest my forehead against the window. I'm supposing that Hatori will take me back to Shigure's house, but I'm hoping he'll take me to Shishou's. I don't want to see anyone right now. God I hate this.

Hatori's eyes find me in the rear view mirror. For a second we're both looking at each other in the mirror, like we're in different universes or something, but soon his eyes turn back to the road. I can feel him preparing to speak

"You've lost a little blood, and from what I can tell, you bruised some of your ribs. So you can count on being a little sore and maybe a bit woozy"

Great, he makes it seem like I've just fallen out of a tree and hurt myself. It's not like some crazy lunatic came and fucking beat me up. No, no one would ever invite me to come over and beat the crap out of me while telling me that after graduation I'll probably never even see the light of day.

Bastard.

"Kyo? We're here"

I was too lost in thought to notice that the car had stopped in Shigure's driveway. Hatori opens my door, like he thinks that going to make it up to me by pretending to be my chauffeur. Yeah, right. I give him my worst death glare and I painfully lift myself out of the car. He deflects my 'attack' and watches me as I manage to stand up properly and walk towards the house. I hate him so much.

I open the door, kicking off my shoes just in time to here Hatori leaving. Good, now I don't need to deal with him visiting us. Yuki walks past me, taking a quick look at me. His eyes linger on my cheek, where the band-aid covering the area where Akito's scratches were. I look away and he passes.

I walk into the kitchen and am greeted with the smell of Tohru's cooking. Usually dinner would be the time I would be ravenous, but right now food really doesn't seem appealing. I can feel my stomach rolling at the thought. Great, now I need an excuse for my appearance and an excuse to get out of dinner.

I survey the room. Shigure's not here, probably off writing more of his perverted novel or sleeping. Yuki's sitting at the table, reading something. He doesn't lift his eyes as I walk in. Tohru walks in, looking worried. I imagine she's afraid she burnt dinner.

I catch Tohru's eye and smile at her. She looks relieved to see me and smiles back, but her eyes widen slightly as she sees my cheek. I shrug it off, saying it's just a scratch. That Haru wanted to fight me again and hit me a little, though it really isn't anything big. She seems reassured by that, thank God. I don't know how I would've been able to explain it if she didn't accept that reply.

I tell her that I'm not really hungry right now and that if she puts a portion away I can always heat it up later. She seems slightly put down by this but agrees and says I should rest if I'm feeling sick. Guilt wells up in me, as I know I'm probably going to skip dinner altogether (unless, of course, she turns teary-eyed on me). I nod, give her another smile and retreat to my room. I can feel Yuki's eyes burning holes into my back, but I don't turn around.

* * *

I reach my room and slam the shoji closed behind me and flop on my bed. Ouch. I completely forgot about the 'soreness' described by Hatori, which in other words is 'pure torture'. I sit up and lean against the wall, taking deep, even breaths. I can deal with this. At least I'm not in the same room as the perverted dog and that damn rat. 

I try not to close my eyes. Akito's face leering down at me is still press into my eyelids. I don't want to remember that right now. I block out his voice and try to focus on the noises outside of my head.  
I can hear Shigure downstairs. Tohru's telling him that I'm home and Yuki's making some comment about that. I hope he doesn't come into my room. He probably won't though. He probably already knows what happened to me.

I zone in and out until the voices outside quiet down. No one sets foot upstairs. I'm glad, their finally leaving me alone. It's strange that the thing I'm scared of most is being alone, but when I'm not alone I want o be alone. I guess it's the cat-always-wants-to-be-on-the-other-side-of-the-door thing. I'm more of a cat then I think.

When I think the coast might be at least partially clear, I leave my room as quickly as possible (well as quickly that I can go when I'm half asleep and injured) and find sanctuary in my favorite place in this house: the roof.

It's so nice outside. The autumn winds play with my hair and make leaves dance. It's still slightly light out, dusk to be more precise. I carefully lay down, until I'm looking straight up at the sky. A few stars are struggling to shine and I can see the moon. It's a half-moon tonight.

I extend my legs and arms, stretching. The outdoors calms me, and soon I'm yawning. I roll over and curl up on my side, to get more comfortable, ignoring the pain in my ribs. My eyes flutter shut, and before I even can register it, I'm asleep.

* * *

"Kyo! KYO!" 

My eyes snap open, I can feel myself shaking and I can tell I've broken out in a cold sweat. I'm not seeing anything and I start the panic, but after a few seconds an image appears in my head. It's Akito with his dark eyes and sinister laugh. I freak out.

My mind muddles itself and I'm breathing way to fast, but taking in no air. The night feels like its closing around me. It's too small, he's too close. I want to tell him to go away but he's too dangerous, too in control of my life. I think I'm crying, muttering, but I can't tell.

Suddenly he touches my shoulders and its like touching fire. I think I scream, but my ears are sealed up. I hear his voice. I'm so scared, so scared.

Slap! The pain wakes me up, and the image of Akito melts away until all that's left is Yuki, his half lit-up face is slightly confused, but I can also see the traces of annoyance and concern. No, not concern, amusement. Why would anyone be concerned about me? After all I'm just a stray cat.

I slow my breathing a little bit, grateful for the oxygen rushing to my brain. Now I'm thinking more clearly. I'm sitting on the roof, it's dark but pleasant and Yuki's standing in front of me, scowling. Wait. Yuki? Shit.

"That's the last time I wake you up for Honda-san, Stupid cat"

I wipe my face with my sleeve. Yup, I guess I was crying. I probably look like a complete wreck, right in front of Prince Yuki the Perfect. I push the palms on my hands into my eyes, and white spots break out through the blackness of my eyelid. It's calming, but only some-what.

"Sh-shut up! Damn rat!"

My word come out slightly shaky and muffled, since I am talking into my sleeves, but I know he heard it. I'm so angry that he of all people had to see this. He probably thinks I'm weak and pathetic. Scratch that he already thinks I'm weak and pathetic. This will just put me up on the most-weak-and-pathetic list that he probably keeps in his room. However, he's got to have super weird powers to stay some what normal. He's probably gone though ten times worse things with Akito. So why isn't he screwed up about it?

"Get up. Honda-san told me to get you up, saying that if you felt sick it would be much better if you slept in the house, or even better, in your own room."

I lower my arms from my face and give him a snarl, before slowly getting myself up. I was still shaking, slightly, and my rib was burning with pain. Bruised my ass, it was probably broken in three places. The rat was already turning and going down the ladder. Great, if getting up hurts, what will a little physical activity do?

I manage another 'shut up' before I climb down into the house. It didn't hurt as much as expected, but the pain was still there. When I finally get down the ladder I'm panting slightly. Spazzing out sure takes a lot of energy out of you.

Yuki's muffling a giggle, his eyes are laughing at me too. I want to hit him. I've never wanted a fight so much in my life, I guess you always want what you can't have. And now I'm turning into one of those people who have a quote for everything. My day just keeps getting better. I give Yuki a glare and stalk off to my room. Asshole.

* * *

I spend the rest of the night staring at my ceiling, and counting stuff in my room. When my alarm clock finally rings, I take a shower, get dressed and leave early, waving at Tohru as I went out the door. I don't want to be caught with him again. He would just make the rest of my fairly normal life more of a living hell than it already is.

* * *

**A/N:** I apologize for any typos etc you might find in here. I'm typing this on WordPerfect (aka Satan) and it doesn't help me at all and does all this weird stuff. I also just want you to know I will not be discouraged by the sad amount of hits this story has gotten! I know KuroxFai fluff is way more popular than KyoxYuki angst! But I will stand my ground! Please review! (note:I uploaded this chapter twice because ff.nt deleted my dividing bars.I am forced to use these ugly bars untilI get back to my normal home and normal computer. I apologize for the inconvinience) 


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N**: Hola wonderful readers of this fanfiction! Random fact thingy: I've read Furuba up to chapter 115 or around there so I know pretty much all the spoilers, this is not as spoilery as it could be because Yuki and Kyo are kept in the dark. You lucky spoiler haters XD**Thank you superherogirl, KooriKitsune, Gunblader121, Waiting For Yesterday, DarkVampireGirl, Dark Iasha, shadowmaker and Mrs. K i w i. **You're all very wonderful people! And of course my beta-er Amaya-hime! Thank you SO much! Anyways, here we go! CHAPTER DEUX!

**Warnings**: Shounen-ai, swearing, suicidal themes, violence aka every thing that makes a good movie, excluding sex, death, resurrection and preternatural creatures... 0.o.

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**Chapter 2

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**

I spent the next two weeks waking up early, leaving before everyone. At school I dodged everyone, spent lunch on the roof. I came home late, after dinner, saying that I went to Shishou's or had dinner at a friends or something. School was a blur, I talked to as few people as possible, but participated enough in class to get me through. I think it was becoming more noticeable that no one saw me anymore. Luckily no one saw me long enough to confront me about it.

I slept a lot, it was like an escape. Whenever I wasn't doing anything I had to sleep, and it didn't matter where I was. When I slept I didn't dream and I didn't have to think at all, about the cage, about Akito...nothing. My mind was just blank.

* * *

It was cloudy. Tohru, after watching the weather channel briefly, came up and warned me that there might be a chance of rain. I thanked her, even though I could tell perfectly well that it was going to rain. (The stupid vengeful spirit thing makes me exhausted even at the thought of rain.) It was nice to know I wasn't completely forgotten about by her. 

I pushed myself off of my bed and pulled on random items of clothing while rubbing my eyes. Ugh, this was definitely not going to be a good day. Exhaustion returned and made my limbs ache as nausea crawled its way into my stomach. Great, just great.

The walk to the bathroom wasn't that bad. Brush teeth, splash face, try not to look at self in mirror the usual I guess.

I walked downstairs and politely refused breakfast. Yuki, Shigure, and Tohru were all behaving as normal. Yuki is just glaring at me, Shigure is spouting nonsense, and Tohru is looking worried but accepting that there was nothing she could do about it. I took this as my exit, and told Tohru I was going to take a walk. She didn't have time to protest before I walked out the door.

Since the Sohmas pretty much owned all the land around Shigure's house (and I mean _all_) I could almost go anywhere I want. I went into the forest. It was the nicest there. I suppose all of the property was picturesque but I liked the forest the best for some reason.

The wind was chilling and the day itself wasn't exactly warm. I was wearing a long sleeved shirt and pants, but somehow that wasn't enough. I rubbed my arms with my hands to stop the shivering. It worked, slightly. I was regretting going outside to begin with.

Why did I go out in the first place? I can't really remember. I kick an abandoned glass bottle on the ground (stupid people who can't clean up after themselves). It hit and splintered against a tree, glass particles spreading everywhere. I stoop and pick up a bunch of glass splinters that had fallen together. The glass sinks into my palm and finger tips, and blood is brought bubbling to the surface. I make my hand into a fist, blood now pouring from my hand. It doesn't hurt at all, but there's so much blood. Somehow I find that fascinating.

I open my hand and pluck the glass from it. I think I learned once in science that your finger tips bleed the most because they have more arteries or something like that, but my whole hand seems to be bleeding pretty evenly.

I take one of the shards and push it into my left forearm, where the main vein is supposed to be, just to see. It works just the same, but just to see how much it could bleed I push more shards in, a perfect vertical line.

I lean back and fall softly into a sitting position against a conveniently placed tree and sigh. I blow my now long bangs out of my eyes and I look up just in time to get hit by the first raindrop. Talk about perfect timing, huh?

The rain seems to coax the blood out of my arm and hand and soon I'm sitting in a puddle of muddy red water. I think briefly that it's going to stain my clothes, but what does that matter while I'm sitting here dying? I guess it would be slightly nicer to die in cleaner clothes, but it doesn't really matter much right now. I wrap my arms around myself and close my eyes.

I'll get to sleep forever.

* * *

_Thwack!_

What the fuck was that? My eyes snap open and I find I'm drenched, shivering and angry staring into the face of an equally angry Yuki. He's screaming at me, but I'm not paying attention. Something about Tohru, me being an idiot… the usual I guess.

He looks like he's going to hit me again. I can feel a bruise forming on my cheek. God, I hate him so much for this. Can't he just leave me alone? Maybe if I get lucky he'll beat me to death and I'll never need to see his ugly face ever again.

But no, he takes off his jacket and wraps the sleeve of it around my arm and the rest of it around my cold body. What is he doing? I thought he hated me. This is his time to shine and make his hatred _useful_. In a few seconds I have already bled through his coat, I try my best to feel happy that I have wrecked something of his.

He looks at me and asks me if I can stand. The rain plasters his bangs to his forehead, but I can still see his dark eyes glaring at me. I clench my jaw to stop the chattering. Jesus, it's freezing out here.

Suddenly I'm on my feet, Yuki pulled me up by my shoulder, which is throbbing from the painful pull. I'm lightheaded, and everything in front of me is blurring together. I sway slightly. No way am I gonna be able to walk all the way back to the house. I think about my possibilities. Does crawling count as walking? …Maybe.

Nausea crawls its way into my stomach. Crap. My knees give way and I vomit onto the ground. Urgh, I feel so gross. I throw up until there's only stomach acids left and they burn my throat. I cough, and find there's nothing left.

I realize that Yuki has been holding me up. He looks slightly disgusted and slightly concerned. Probably didn't want his poor Tohru to see me like this. Why does he always find me like this? If he had come a few minutes later I might have been gone. I didn't want him to come and save me.

I wipe my mouth off on the sleeve of his coat that is still wrapped around my arm and manage to smirk at him. He doesn't return it, instead I feel myself being lifted up. My mind isn't working fast enough to comprehend immediately, but I find my feet aren't touching the ground and are swaying slightly.

Yuki is carrying me… _bridal style_ dare I say it. I think I have started shouting at him to put me down, hitting him with weak fists. Anything to have him let go of me and leave me alone. I threaten him, insult him, but he doesn't let me go. I'm so angry, but after a while the rain drains my energy and I'm left exhausted. I lie limp in his arms, trying not to lean against him no matter how warm he is.

"Why are you carrying me?"

I see him blink slightly. He's thinking about it. He shakes his head, sprinkling me in the water that drips off his hair and face. He shrugs slightly, moving me up and down, shifting me into a position that makes it easier to carry me. Though I already know he is way stronger than he looks.

"You couldn't walk."

* * *

By the time we got back we were drenched. I swear! If someone came up and squeezed us we would lose three hundred pounds of water and would have to be swimming so as not to drown in the water that came out of our clothes and hair. Yuki kicks off his shoes, thought it doesn't make much of a difference… his socks are soaked too. 

He finally puts me down in the bathroom and sits me up on the toilet seat. He unwraps his coat, and sets it aside. The bleeding has stopped a little bit. He goes through the bathroom cupboard and pulls out the necessary objects. It takes him a few minutes to extract all the glass from both hand and forearm. He places the glass carefully into the trash can before pouring disinfectant all over my hand and arm.

I hiss to hide the amount of stinging this brings. I bite my tongue so hard I think it might bleed. Yuki doesn't even look up once and he quickly starts the wrap gauze around my wrist and hand. I'm so tired, I'm surprised I have stayed conscious this long. I make a mental note that rain and suffering from blood loss are not a good combination.

Then he gets up and puts everything back. He doesn't even give me a side glance. Harsh. Suddenly a towel hits my head and I am temporarily stunned before I register the towel in my hands. I realize that even though I'm indoors I'm still shivering. I look up at Yuki.

"I'll get you some clothes so dry yourself off, stupid cat"

The door closes behind him. He makes me so mad sometimes. Even when I'm not thinking straight I know what a towel is for. Damn rat. He better get me some warm clothes or when the rain stops I'll beat the crap outta him.

I had just started drying my hair when the door flies open and clothes come flying at me. They hit me painfully on the head. I give him a scowl and tell him to get the hell out. He complies, slamming the door shut. I hope I've made him angry.

It takes me a while to pull on my clothes, but I manage. I hang my wet clothes up over the shower and glare at Yuki's coat, still fuming at the fact he _carried_ me. He has really riled me up this time. I still can't believe it.

I walk to the door with only one dizzy spell, probably from the blood loss thing. Rain hardly ever does anything else to me other than make me want to curl up and sleep. Which is what I'm probably going to do right now.

When I open the door, Yuki turns his head, unsurprised as usual. He was leaning on the wall, waiting for me to get changed. What's wrong with him? Doesn't he have someone better to annoy?

I shove past him and walk determined toward my room. I falter slightly and I can feel his eyes watching me. I see him out of the corner of my eye, pushing off the wall and walking, unhurriedly towards me. I push forward. No way am I going to let him pick me up again, especially if I can help it.

Opening my door I can sense Yuki right behind me. Thinks he can sneak up on me when I'm about to fall asleep on my feet, huh? I didn't take martial arts for so many years not to be able to tell.

However for some reason I don't turn around and tell him to go get a life or whatever. I just stride firmly into my room and flop onto my bed. I leave my door open. If he's gonna stand there he might as well close it.

I can see him staring in at me. I turn my head so I'm able to see him. He looks slightly angry and slightly concerned. Wait, maybe its amusement. I am _way_ too tired to tell them apart.

"What?"

"I won't tell Tohru, or Shigure... or Hatori."

He says this simply, like it's not some huge deal. Which it probably isn't… whatever. I'm glad that he gets that I wouldn't want that. Wait, we're not supposed to do each other favors right? We're just supposed to fight and scream. But I guess this is something completely different.

I nod and face the other way and stare at the wall. I guess I should say something. It takes a while but I finally cough up what I want to say.

"...Thanks."

Even though I muttered it I know he could hear me. I can almost feel him smile and I hear the door clicks shut behind him.

* * *

**A/N: **this was soooooo hard to write. I wrote a completely other version with Kyo having planned the suicide thing. But Kyo's more of an act before think person so planned wasn't as good as impulsive. I actually really like Yuki a lot, but I have to keep him in character and he isn't the nicest to Kyo but they make SUCH a cute couple :D PLEASE REVIEW! I'll give you many cookies /grovels at the feet of fantastic readers/ Thank you so much for reading! 


	4. Chapter 3

**A/n: **Hello all you fantastic people! It's me again, updating, again. Sorry this is probably SOOOO late but my beta-er is presently away in Japan (lucky duck /glares at her/) I was SUPPOSED to get it in by Tuesday but lucky me a telephone pole broke and knocked down another telephone pole RIGHT in front of our house. And lo and behold! There was no electricity. And we couldn't drive outside because there were telephone wires everywhere. Wonderful. And I'm working as a museum docent so I have no inspiration. This chapter is chock-a-block with everything I wanted. It really should have been 2 chapters but ya know...Thank you everyone who reviewed! I'm sorry i cannot put your names up right now/bows/ your names will appear in the next chapter! GOMEN!

I am also sorry that the bars on this wouldn't show up. You'll have to deal with my terrible breaks.../grovel/ forgive me...

**Warnings:** NOT a fluffy lovey dovey romance where they suddenly discover their feelings, Shounen-ai, violence, language, implied rape etc etc etc.

_And in the fury of this darkest hour I will be your light_

–Winterborn by Cruxshadows

**Chapter 3**

I wake up to the sound of birds tittering and leaves rustling. Ugh, can't they shut up for one second and let me sleep? I make shapes with shadows on the ceiling. I've never had the trouble Yuki has, of taking his time to wake up. I'm usually up and about as soon as my eyes open. Oh well, there's always more firsts.

I stretch my arms over my head and wince slightly at the twinge of pain that ran down my arm during that action. I turn myself slightly and I spot something white out of the corner of my eye. I turn around properly.

The white 'thing' turns out to be a notes. Some of those sticky notes things are stuck to my bedside table. I snatch the first one up and get my eyes to focus long enough to decipher the words on the page.

_Told Tohru and Shigure you were sick. _

_Tohru has work today and Shigure is visiting the main house._

_Food is in fridge._

_Don't forget to change the bandages_

_Don't do anything stupid._

I laugh slightly. Bastard. Shigure visiting the main house must mean he's visiting Hatori and Akito. I wonder why Yuki didn't write that. Oh well. I'll bother him when he gets back. Wait. Does he have some student council meeting today? I wrack my brain, but I can't remember what days he has that. Guess I wasn't listening. Whatever.

I get up, stretching my legs and back, and go around my room trying to find clothes to wear. I haven't put anything properly away in ages. I pick from what I think is the clean pile. Jesus, how can Tohru figure out what's dirty when she does the laundry? I stack all the supposedly clean clothes I've found into my arms and trudge off to the bathroom.

I take a quick shower, changing the bandages on my hand and arm. I look long enough at the mirror to see that some of my ribs are showing. They hurt to touch. I don't remember what it feels like to be hungry, but I think I am now.

Walking into the kitchen I see there is another note stuck to the fridge. I walk closer and recognize Tohru's handwriting and Shigure's writing at the bottom of the note. It has some cooking instructions and a get well soon thing. And of course Shigure gives his input and also tells me to get well soon. But his writing has little hearts drawn around it and random squiggles. God he's never going to grow up.

I gulp down breakfast. Maybe I should call it lunch? The clock flashing at me from the microwave says it's one o'clock already. Like it matters. It's not raining today, though I know I probably slept until it was over. Like usual. It's amazing I even woke up at all actually. Last night I was totally exhausted. Or was it afternoon? I can't remember.

Just leaning up the dishes and clearing everything away is making me tired. My arm and hand are throbbing and my stomach is regretting eating so much so fast. I walk over to the sofa and flip on the TV. The news is on. Perfect channel to fall asleep in front of. I curled up and did just that.

Breakbreakbreabkrebarbkeabkrebreakbreabkrkeabrkeabrkear

I woke to the sensation of cold hands touching my throat and then my forehead. I force my eyes wide open and I see Yuki striding up to his room. I wonder if he actually touched me or if it was a dream. I sit up, rubbing my eyes, and turn to face him. He obviously senses my movements and turns his head.

"What?"

He asks the question innocently. Like he's so sure he didn't do anything wrong. I have the worst splitting headache and my stomach seems very angry at me for eating. I ask him before I can even think over the question.

"Did you just touch me?"

As soon as I said that I regretted it. God I sound like such a freak. I rub my forehead with my hand, slightly embarrassed. I have a headache and I made it sound like he just groped me. Great. I can hear him biting back a snigger and to my surprise he actually answered.

"I checked if you were alive and if you had a fever, stupid cat."

After that he continues his way back to his room. Thank God. Maybe now it will be quiet again. The TV had been turned off at some point. Yuki probably turned off not wanting to run a high electricity bill. I almost start wondering where Tohru is before I remember she has work. I look at the clock. 4:00 PM. I only slept for three hours. That's not so bad.

Ah, there goes my headache again. Wait… Yuki wanted to check if I was alive? Well I guess it wouldn't do if he found me dead after 'rescuing' me. I can't believe he did that. Oh well no use dwelling on it. I turn and look at the blank TV screen.

I don't move until he comes back. He spares me a quick glance before grabbing his coat and walking to the door. He stops in front of it and argues with himself for a few seconds before opening his mouth.

"I'm going out."

He says this without turning. Why is he bothering? I'm not blind, thank you very much. I can see very well that he's going out. I guess he wants to make sure someone knows he's leaving. His gaze drops to the floor and lifts again.

"I'll be back soon."

And with that he leaves; the door slamming shut behind him. I wonder where he's going briefly before brushing the thought away. This is _Yuki_ we're talking about. He'll come back eventually anyways. But he said he'd come back soon. So I guess after an hour I should go and look for him just in case. Because when Tohru gets home and there's no Yuki she'll be sad. And Tohru shouldn't be sad.

Breakbreakbreabkbrebkabrkeabrkeabrkebarkear

Before I know it an hour passes and I'm still sitting and thinking about whether or not I should get Yuki. I play the idea around in my head for a little while. The usual 'what would happen if I stayed here?' and 'Tohru came home and no one was here but me and Yuki was who knows where doing who knows what?' thoughts were floating around in my head. Tohru would probably go out looking herself, but she's not a very good finder and she wouldn't be able to take Yuki home, should he be injured. Not like the damn rat would be. Which means I should go find Yuki. But I'm really not well enough to go get him. Ugh this is stupid.

I finally push everything to the back of my mind and get up, grab my coat and leave before I can contradict myself… again. I'm relieved that I got my warmer coat, since it turns out to be cool outside. Not to mention that I've been rather cold recently, doubling the effects of the weather.

I first check out his o-so-secret base. The place is neat but devoid of any human life besides mine. I always thought that this place was sort of cute. I guess it's sort of his sanctuary. Like the roof is to me.

So I get up from the base and walk around, off the Sohma estate. I check around school. Any place I think I _might_ find him. I sneeze. God this is taking forever. If I had a watch I would be able to tell if I'd been out for a long time. This is a waste. He's probably home already wondering where the hell I am.

I turn a corner and I glimpse silver. Now I feel like a magpie, it could be anything. There are lots of silver things in this world. But somehow I know it's him.

He's sitting there, breathing slightly ragged, looking at me. He's a mess, hair all over the place. There's a slight swelling to his face and I'm sure there are some hidden bruises beneath his clothes. He's leaning against a wall, with his arms crossed and legs drawn up. His eyes are vacant and I'm not quite sure if he recognizes me. He opens his mouth and makes a rough sound. He licks his lips and tries again.

"...Kyo...?"

I blink. So he does recognize me. That's good. Easier to deal with than if he had amnesia or something messed up like that. I look down at him. He seems to be moving, very slowly. Suddenly his hand flies up to his face and he starting hacking. The coughing makes his pale body lurch. His eyes widen slightly as he looks at his hand. I bend slightly and I see it too.

_Blood. _

"It...it hurts..."

He says it as though it surprises him. He looks up at me and suddenly I can see right through him, for one of the first times. _Help me. _He falls forward, into me.

_Poof!_

I scoop up the grey rat and check if he's still breathing, (he is) and if he's conscious (he isn't), and slip him into one of the pockets of my coat, leaving the zip open to allow him to breath. I gather up his clothes as well, half folding them in my arms and walk as fast as I can to Shigure's house.

Breabrebakrbeabkrbeabreabkreabkreabkreabreakbreakbreabkreabkrea

By the time we get back Tohru's home. She's still in her school uniform, obviously work ended early today. Anyone would know Tohru wouldn't willingly leave work early. She walks into the entry way to greet me, ever present smile on her face.

"Tadaima, Kyo-kun!- Are you ok Kyo-kun? You were sick today, are you feeling worse? Did the cold make you worse? Where's Yuki-kun? Shigure-san called and said he'd be staying the night at the main house with Akito. Why are you carrying Yuki-kun's clothes? What's wrong?"

I digest the information slowly. My brain is still slightly foggy and I can't feel my finger tips. Shigure's staying at the main house? With Akito probably... I slip my shoes off and try to piece the words together as Tohru's starts talking again. What did she want to know? Oh yeah. The rat.

I produce the rat out of the pocket. He's still warm and breathing. Specks of blood stain his fur. I guess I should clean him off before he changes back. No way am I cleaning a human Yuki. Tohru gasps slightly and holds her hands up to her mouth. Tears fill her eyes and she starts mumbling words of worry. I decide I can't deal with this much emotion. I mutter what I think are words of comfort, push past her and go into the bathroom and shut the door.

I do my best to clean up the rat. Stupid, he always gets himself into problems and someone has to peel him off the streets. Finally when all him fur seems pretty clean I wrap him in a hand towel, and debate shortly on if I should bandage him in this form or not. I decide against it. It would be useless anyways since you can't see any wounds underneath his fur.

I carry him carefully upstairs and try to rub the wetness off his fur. If he gets cold he might get sick or something. What the fuck was he doing outside in this weather anyways? He knows that he isn't the healthiest person to begin with. Maybe he had an attack or something. I hope he isn't having one now.

Wait a second. Am I worrying about Yuki? _Sohma_ Yuki? The Yuki I vowed to beat (and failed to beat) and hate for the rest of my years? I guess after someone saves your life you need to return the favor… even though I didn't want to be saved. After this I swear to hate him with everything I have.

I put him down on his bed on his back and pull up his covers to where his chin would be if he wasn't in rat form. I can feel Tohru behind me. She looks at me teary eyed and she says she wants to know what happened. I shrug, she looks like she going to go into a big huge sob-fest. Just what I need.

She calls my name and runs up and buries her head in my chest, tears quickly wetting my shirt. I never think I've felt so uncomfortable in my life. Her words are muffled into my shirt, something about Yuki and how she's so worried about him and about me. I look away, shifting my feet. I can feel Yuki watching.

I think I'm supposed to hug her, but I don't want to risk the change. The smart thing to do now would be to kiss her or something like that without any embracing but... I don't like her like that. I mean she accepted me and all, and I think for some time after that I thought I liked her like _that_... but really it was just such an amazing thing that she accepted me I just loved her more than anything else. I mistook that love for passion. But it wasn't. I love her so much, but not like that. _Never_ like that.

She finally lets go and looks up at me and says she's very sorry to be such a bother and asks me if I'll come to dinner. I tell her maybe later and give her a hollow smile. She attempts and smile back and I tell her that everything OK, and she shouldn't worry about it. She smiles again and leaves. I call after her. She spins around and looks at me like I'm going to say something of big importance. I tell her I'm sorry.

I slump in defeat. God, must I always be such an asshole? She's been nothing but nice to me. What's my problem? I should never have been so cold to her. That was unacceptable. I hold my hand to my head as a headache weaves its way across my thoughts, obscuring them with pain.

I sit down, leaning against Yuki's bed. I hear a soft poof! But I don't turn around. I can feel his eyes on me but I don't want to see them. I'm so sick of this. I rub my temples with my fingertips and get up again. I should just go to sleep. I don't have school tomorrow. I can sleep as long as I want.

I start to walk to the door and suddenly I can feel fingers curled around my 'bad' arm, making me wince and turn around in surprise. His grey eyes are staring up at me, looking like they want to tell me something that I don't seem to comprehend. His face turns determined and he says a word with dumbfounded me.

"_Stay."_

break

**A/n:** Ugh this was a drag. I hope it was good, it took me FOREVER to write! I must give a huggle to my beta-er because I got his out SO late. I hope she can forgive me! I will not be writing for a long time since i'm going to England tomorrow! (for a week) and I haven't started the next chapter yet! Gomen! Thank all you wonderful readers! You are so wonderful! Please review! It's authors food! If I don't get some I might DIE! Til next time!


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